MY: Tuesdays with Morrie (II)...

Here are more points to ponder... :-))

We Talk about How Love Goes On

"I believe in being fully present," Morrie said. That means you should be with the person you're wih. When I'm talking to you now Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.

"Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry," Morrie said. People haven't found meaning in their lives, so they're running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running." Once you start running, I said, it's too hard to slow yourself down.

We Talk about Marriage

"there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage; If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.

"And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"

Yes?

"Your belief in the importance of your marriage."

We Talk about Our Culture

"People are only mean when they're threatened," he said later that day, "and that's what our culture does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture."

"Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you."

We Talk about Forgiveness

"There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. These things" - he sighed - "thee things I so regret in my life. Pride. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?"

"It's not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch," he finally whispered. We also need to forgive ourselves."

Ourselves?

"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am.

We Talk about the Perfect Day

"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."

"In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that. Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own".

I heard a nice little story the other day," Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait. 

"Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air - until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.

' "My God, this is terrible," the wave says. "Look what's going to happen to me!"

"Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, "Why do you look so sad?"

"The first wave says, "You don't understand We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?"

"The second wave says, "No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean." '

I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.

"Part of the ocean," he says, "part of the ocean." I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out.

~ MT @ Malaysia

~~ Ampang, Selangor

~ To Travel is To Discover Oneself ~

MY: Tuesdays with Morrie (I)...

Although I have been back in Malaysia for quite sometimes, I still keep in touch with my friends in Doha. I normally chat with Zal via Skype (if he is not chatting with his other half ... muahahhaha) and emailing with others. Really hope they will contact me whenever they are back in KL. Really miss them.

There was one day when Zal suggested me to read this book.. "Tuesdays with Morrie". Morrie was a teacher for the writer. This book is like Mitch's (Mitch Albom is the ex-student) thesis - thesis about life.

What I like most about this book are the wonderful points to ponder. Reflecting our daily activities and events as well as feelings. Here are some of them.

We Talk about Regrets
'On the plane ride home that day, I made a small list on a yellow legal pad, issuese and questions that we all grapple with, from happinessto aging to having children to death... But there still seemed to be no clear answers. Do you take care of others or take care of your "inner child"? Return to traditional values or reject tradition as useless? Seek success or seek simplicity? Just Say No or Just Do It?'

We Talk about Death
' "Everyone knows they're going to die," he said again, "but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently." '

We Talk about Family
' "This is part of what a family is about, not just love, but letting others know there's someone who is watchinf out for them..... knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame." '

We Talk about the Fear of Aging
.. I'm wondering how you don't envy younger, healthy people. "Oh, I guess I do." ... "I envy them being able to.... But envy comes to me, I feel it, and then I let it go. Remember what I said about detachment? Let it go. Tell yourself, "That's envy. I'm going to separate from it now." And walk away."

We Talk about Money
"We put our values in the wrong things.And it leads to ver disillusined lives..."

"These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship."

"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have. "

"There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need." " You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself." "The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfactions?" - Offering others what you have to give.

"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? - Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose adn meaning."

... to be continued...

~ MT @ Malaysia
~~ Ampang, Selangor

~ To Travel is To Discover Oneself ~

MY: After a Hiatus

I know I have not updating my blog as frequent as I used to be. For this long weekend in KL, I was occupied in managing the system "go live" for one of the financial institutions. It was a tiring with limited number of staff and client users who refused to understand the importance and the urgency of the project.

Alhamdulillah, last night was a cut over and this morning, no major hiccups. Hope to stay that way. A week after Chinese New Year, another cut over for another product. 

I have been working long hours with unofficial over time. It is so unfortunate that the more senior you are, you lose the benefits of overtime :-( Anyway, I was blessed with three good staff who strive to make it happen. 

Will update more frequently from now on. This coming Chinese New Year holiday, I am going back to my hometown.

Selamat Hari Wilayah!

~ MT @ Malaysia

~~ Ampang, Selangor

~ To Travel Is To Discover Oneself ~